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Dating After A Break-up
- By Miss Emily
- Published 09/6/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I got out of a relationships months ago and, well, I moved out of my ex's house though we still talk and see each other every once in a while. I moved into a new city into a new place where I have 2 roommates. One girl and one boy. Well, upon moving in the guy admitted to me that I was hot and then from there on would make sly sexual comments. I took them in stride and would laugh and, sometimes, would make jokes with him back. As we started to hang out more, I'm finding out that I'm liking him and well we had sex. It was really good; although I feel as if I should tell my ex about this progression, however, the roommate and I are not dating -- only because I said I wasn't ready to and this sorta complicates things -- but I knew what I was getting myself into. What I did was irrational, though I rationalize it in my head at times. Well, me and the male roommate are still getting to know each other and the female roommate doesn't know anything yet but, when I'm ready to date, I plan to accept my male roommate constant requests to date me. Between now, until then, how do we not get tired and bored of each other fast since we do live with each other and should I back out of this all together? I am attracted to him and him to me, so it's hard not to hold back but its doable, and I just need somebody who won't be judgmental and knows me well enough to tell me what I should do. From what we know from each other, we are compatible and we get along great, but it's only been a month. The first few months are always the greatest. Maybe I should slow down, huh? Things did speed up b/c we see each other all the time in the house, so that was a working force against me but, I would like some advice as what to do in general about my situation. Should I stop it, should I go on, do I tell my ex since we are friends? Like where do I go from here? And I have other men asking me out, too, but none that I"m interested in -- so no worries there. I"m confused and need guidance, b/c some prayers are just not answered fast enough. Also, my friends are not helping b/c some tell me what I want to hear, and some are like " you're stupid" so, yeah.......no luck getting a complete answer there. Well, please help.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
With the understanding that almost any relationship can go south, I see no reason to stall getting involved with your roommate. I would certainly let the other roommate know, however. But as long as you and he keep within the standards of good taste, she should have no complaint -- any that would be valid. It's been months since the break-up with your ex and, although you and he have remained friends, you owe him no information about this relationship -- but, as a friend, I'd let him in on it if I were to start dating my roommate. Breaking up means you are free to explore other relationships, unless I'm missing something and you still have romantic feelings for your ex. And if you do, I would get that settled before jumping into a relationship with someone else. But as I see it, life is too short to worry about issues that are really non-issues -- if you decide you have every right to live life as you see fit, with apologies to none. Remain honest, be true to yourself, and be considerate of others. Life is a series of choices. The best ones are made when you weigh all sides of an issue. In this case, from what you have said, I see a green light.
I got out of a relationships months ago and, well, I moved out of my ex's house though we still talk and see each other every once in a while. I moved into a new city into a new place where I have 2 roommates. One girl and one boy. Well, upon moving in the guy admitted to me that I was hot and then from there on would make sly sexual comments. I took them in stride and would laugh and, sometimes, would make jokes with him back. As we started to hang out more, I'm finding out that I'm liking him and well we had sex. It was really good; although I feel as if I should tell my ex about this progression, however, the roommate and I are not dating -- only because I said I wasn't ready to and this sorta complicates things -- but I knew what I was getting myself into. What I did was irrational, though I rationalize it in my head at times. Well, me and the male roommate are still getting to know each other and the female roommate doesn't know anything yet but, when I'm ready to date, I plan to accept my male roommate constant requests to date me. Between now, until then, how do we not get tired and bored of each other fast since we do live with each other and should I back out of this all together? I am attracted to him and him to me, so it's hard not to hold back but its doable, and I just need somebody who won't be judgmental and knows me well enough to tell me what I should do. From what we know from each other, we are compatible and we get along great, but it's only been a month. The first few months are always the greatest. Maybe I should slow down, huh? Things did speed up b/c we see each other all the time in the house, so that was a working force against me but, I would like some advice as what to do in general about my situation. Should I stop it, should I go on, do I tell my ex since we are friends? Like where do I go from here? And I have other men asking me out, too, but none that I"m interested in -- so no worries there. I"m confused and need guidance, b/c some prayers are just not answered fast enough. Also, my friends are not helping b/c some tell me what I want to hear, and some are like " you're stupid" so, yeah.......no luck getting a complete answer there. Well, please help.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
With the understanding that almost any relationship can go south, I see no reason to stall getting involved with your roommate. I would certainly let the other roommate know, however. But as long as you and he keep within the standards of good taste, she should have no complaint -- any that would be valid. It's been months since the break-up with your ex and, although you and he have remained friends, you owe him no information about this relationship -- but, as a friend, I'd let him in on it if I were to start dating my roommate. Breaking up means you are free to explore other relationships, unless I'm missing something and you still have romantic feelings for your ex. And if you do, I would get that settled before jumping into a relationship with someone else. But as I see it, life is too short to worry about issues that are really non-issues -- if you decide you have every right to live life as you see fit, with apologies to none. Remain honest, be true to yourself, and be considerate of others. Life is a series of choices. The best ones are made when you weigh all sides of an issue. In this case, from what you have said, I see a green light.
