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- Magnetic Draw Adds To Frustration
Magnetic Draw Adds To Frustration
- By Miss Emily
- Published 09/5/2010
- Relationships - Women
Back in January I met this guy who was starting his first day of work
where I was employed. From the second i saw him, I felt this immediate
connection to him -- almost like I was being pulled to him. It kind of
scared me, because I had never experienced anything like that before. So
as I got to know him and I realized we had so much in common and I started
to feel attracted to him. He is not even my type. Anyway, I had two
problems: One he had a girlfriend, and two he was 19 and I was 25. So I
continued to flirt with him but didn't pursue it. When March came around,
he ended up calling it quits with his girlfriend and one drunken night
we ended up having sex. I
know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help myself. After that
things got awkward at work and I just tried to ignore him, because he
knew I liked him and he told me he was not over his ex. I tried to move
on but found myself struggling and, just over the last month, I began
talking to him again. He seems to be coming around, too, because he is
talking to me more as well. We even hung out with a few other people
twice now. However, he is still seeing his ex even claims to still have
feelings for her -- even though he won't be in a relationship with her. I'm
also starting to think that he still thinks i like him, which i do, but I
am trying so hard not to show it. I don't think it's going anywhere, but
sometimes certain things that he does makes me question that. Then there
is the fact that I still feel this magnetic pull to him. He's 20 now
and I'm still 25. I'm at my wits end what should I do?
-----------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------------------
You are terribly frustrated, and it all seems to boil down to what he's doing in his life -- despite the fact you have a life and it doesn't need to be hijacked by feelings for someone who doesn't know if he's coming, or going with his ex. I think you should do what I call "flip the switch." It's embracing a mindset that pretty much spells out the reality of the situation, and a definitive decision on how you're going to handle this chapter in your life. He still has strong feelings for his ex, and that's the bottom line. Remain friendly, but keep your distance. To set yourself up as a "if" in his world, is degrading to you and doesn't change the dynamic of the situation. In fairness to him, and how this all played out -- it took two to get to this place. I understand you have a magnetic draw to him -- but I venture to say that if you lined up a thousand guys in front of you, and had a 10 minute conversation with each one of them, you'd want to take half of them home! Set high standards for yourself, and you can move in a direction of greater fulfillment. Hold your head high, sweet one, and let this guy know you're a sophisticated young woman who is capable of looking forward, and not back. I'm not saying something couldn't happen down the line, but I wouldn't hold myself in suspended animation waiting for it.
-----------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------------------
You are terribly frustrated, and it all seems to boil down to what he's doing in his life -- despite the fact you have a life and it doesn't need to be hijacked by feelings for someone who doesn't know if he's coming, or going with his ex. I think you should do what I call "flip the switch." It's embracing a mindset that pretty much spells out the reality of the situation, and a definitive decision on how you're going to handle this chapter in your life. He still has strong feelings for his ex, and that's the bottom line. Remain friendly, but keep your distance. To set yourself up as a "if" in his world, is degrading to you and doesn't change the dynamic of the situation. In fairness to him, and how this all played out -- it took two to get to this place. I understand you have a magnetic draw to him -- but I venture to say that if you lined up a thousand guys in front of you, and had a 10 minute conversation with each one of them, you'd want to take half of them home! Set high standards for yourself, and you can move in a direction of greater fulfillment. Hold your head high, sweet one, and let this guy know you're a sophisticated young woman who is capable of looking forward, and not back. I'm not saying something couldn't happen down the line, but I wouldn't hold myself in suspended animation waiting for it.
