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- A Matter Of Trust
A Matter Of Trust
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/27/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm 17 and a young lady. So last summer (2009) when i was 16. i went to my dad's house -- out of state. I hung out with my older brother and a few of his friends at one of his friend's houses and my brother left to go get his girlfriend. While he was gone, one of his friends came on to me and i didn't try to stop him. I was guessing that he was probably 18 or 19 but really he turned out being 24 which i didn't know when i had sex with him. I know it was wrong, so so wrong, and it's been a little over a year, now, so I've pretty much gotten over it, and it's not a big deal to me. .... then 7 months ago, i started dating this guy (19) and i didn't think it was going to be as serious as it is now, and he knows about this thing before he asked me out. Bu t my question is my brother's friend, that this happened with, is coming to stay with us for a week or so. and my boyfriend is really mad about it and wants me to go stay somewhere else while he is here. Is this right? And one more thing, do you have any explanation about why i don't see any thing wrong with it?
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
In the future, think twice before you tell someone something that could come back to bite you in the rear. No one, and I mean no one, has a right to know all your secrets. I see where your boyfriend is coming from, but it doesn't seem realistic to expect you to stay somewhere else. It not only looks odd, but I think it's a matter of whether he can trust you around this guy -- and you must assure him he can. And that's what I would tell him. Spend as much time with him as you can during this period, and ask him to come to your home while this guy is there. It might seem awkward, at first, but you did this before you met your boyfriend and it can't be undone. If you show others that you are a couple (and that includes your brother's boyfriend), perhaps he'll get over the issues of insecurity, and mistrust. To do it his way, is unnecessary. You can't, forever, dodge your brother's friend. And no, there is nothing wrong with you thinking it's okay for you to be there because, again, it's a trust issue and your boyfriend has to know he can trust you not to revisit the past. And that's the truth, right?
I'm 17 and a young lady. So last summer (2009) when i was 16. i went to my dad's house -- out of state. I hung out with my older brother and a few of his friends at one of his friend's houses and my brother left to go get his girlfriend. While he was gone, one of his friends came on to me and i didn't try to stop him. I was guessing that he was probably 18 or 19 but really he turned out being 24 which i didn't know when i had sex with him. I know it was wrong, so so wrong, and it's been a little over a year, now, so I've pretty much gotten over it, and it's not a big deal to me. .... then 7 months ago, i started dating this guy (19) and i didn't think it was going to be as serious as it is now, and he knows about this thing before he asked me out. Bu t my question is my brother's friend, that this happened with, is coming to stay with us for a week or so. and my boyfriend is really mad about it and wants me to go stay somewhere else while he is here. Is this right? And one more thing, do you have any explanation about why i don't see any thing wrong with it?
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
In the future, think twice before you tell someone something that could come back to bite you in the rear. No one, and I mean no one, has a right to know all your secrets. I see where your boyfriend is coming from, but it doesn't seem realistic to expect you to stay somewhere else. It not only looks odd, but I think it's a matter of whether he can trust you around this guy -- and you must assure him he can. And that's what I would tell him. Spend as much time with him as you can during this period, and ask him to come to your home while this guy is there. It might seem awkward, at first, but you did this before you met your boyfriend and it can't be undone. If you show others that you are a couple (and that includes your brother's boyfriend), perhaps he'll get over the issues of insecurity, and mistrust. To do it his way, is unnecessary. You can't, forever, dodge your brother's friend. And no, there is nothing wrong with you thinking it's okay for you to be there because, again, it's a trust issue and your boyfriend has to know he can trust you not to revisit the past. And that's the truth, right?
