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Abusive Ex Attempts Suicide
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/27/2010
- Relationships - Women
Emily:
I am a 24-year-old woman and I've was in a relationship with a 22-year-old man for the past one and a half year. During this whole time, the relationship was not at all healthy -- though he was nice in the beginning. Soon he turned out to be a very possessive and brutal psycho. I used to cry for more than 3 hours a day because of the horrid words he used to call me. He never gave me a space to breathe. He did never let me work, nor did he try to make a living for himself. Twice I had to resign my job because of this person. I didn't even have time to talk to my mother, or brother and not even time to have food or sleep peacefully. My 24 hours were supposed be reserved for him only. This suffering for such a long time made me break down and, finally, I left him. He threatened to publicize the personal photos and other stuff as a revenge, but I remained firm in my decision. Now it has been a month and he has attempted suicide twice by this time. His family is blaming me for what happened, but I can't go back to the same person who tortured and took my life from me at any cost. I'm sure that someone who dared to attempt suicide twice, will do it again and will finally succeed. I'm totally frustrated now. For me, it's better to die than live with him, but i want to live! In fact, I got out of that abusive relationship so that I can breath and live a life, but it seems that he will take me along with him. Please give me a solution. I want to live.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
And you will live, because this is what you must do. You need to sever all ties with these people. They are making every attempt to blame you, when you are completely blameless. Yes, you allowed yourself to be treated in this manner, but that is common in abusive relationships. You had the courage to leave, and now you must follow through in eliminating the guilt trip being laid at your feet. Their reasoning is similar to the abusive alcoholic who blames a spouse, or partner for his (or her) drinking problem. Of course, the notion is absurd, but that does not mean it's not used as a weapon against an innocent person. Your ex is mentally unbalanced, and that was the case before you ever entered his life. Although painful to hear that he has attempted suicide, you are helpless to do anything to change it. It could be an attempt to draw you back in, but you cannot allow it! In the final analysis, it comes down to saving yourself -- which you have every right to do (an understatement). To be taken in by him and his family, is to allow them to negate all of the progress you have made. You can't heal him, only he can do that. It comes down to keeping the promise you made to yourself -- and that's to achieve your goals, and to have purpose in life. Being mired in his mess is choosing him over you -- something you did for too long, and lived to regret. Keep me posted, because I'm here for you as a support system. As well, therapy would be a good idea if finances permit.
I am a 24-year-old woman and I've was in a relationship with a 22-year-old man for the past one and a half year. During this whole time, the relationship was not at all healthy -- though he was nice in the beginning. Soon he turned out to be a very possessive and brutal psycho. I used to cry for more than 3 hours a day because of the horrid words he used to call me. He never gave me a space to breathe. He did never let me work, nor did he try to make a living for himself. Twice I had to resign my job because of this person. I didn't even have time to talk to my mother, or brother and not even time to have food or sleep peacefully. My 24 hours were supposed be reserved for him only. This suffering for such a long time made me break down and, finally, I left him. He threatened to publicize the personal photos and other stuff as a revenge, but I remained firm in my decision. Now it has been a month and he has attempted suicide twice by this time. His family is blaming me for what happened, but I can't go back to the same person who tortured and took my life from me at any cost. I'm sure that someone who dared to attempt suicide twice, will do it again and will finally succeed. I'm totally frustrated now. For me, it's better to die than live with him, but i want to live! In fact, I got out of that abusive relationship so that I can breath and live a life, but it seems that he will take me along with him. Please give me a solution. I want to live.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
And you will live, because this is what you must do. You need to sever all ties with these people. They are making every attempt to blame you, when you are completely blameless. Yes, you allowed yourself to be treated in this manner, but that is common in abusive relationships. You had the courage to leave, and now you must follow through in eliminating the guilt trip being laid at your feet. Their reasoning is similar to the abusive alcoholic who blames a spouse, or partner for his (or her) drinking problem. Of course, the notion is absurd, but that does not mean it's not used as a weapon against an innocent person. Your ex is mentally unbalanced, and that was the case before you ever entered his life. Although painful to hear that he has attempted suicide, you are helpless to do anything to change it. It could be an attempt to draw you back in, but you cannot allow it! In the final analysis, it comes down to saving yourself -- which you have every right to do (an understatement). To be taken in by him and his family, is to allow them to negate all of the progress you have made. You can't heal him, only he can do that. It comes down to keeping the promise you made to yourself -- and that's to achieve your goals, and to have purpose in life. Being mired in his mess is choosing him over you -- something you did for too long, and lived to regret. Keep me posted, because I'm here for you as a support system. As well, therapy would be a good idea if finances permit.
