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- Who Controls This Situation?
Who Controls This Situation?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/23/2010
- Relationships - Women
Miss Emily,
Hey, I need some advice. Me n my bf aren't getting on. He says I control him and I don't like him going out with friends. We were arguing yesterday and my mum was abusive towards him and told him to get out of her house. Now I call him and he wont talk to me! And he says he doesn't know what he wants. What should I do? I really want to sort it with him, but he won't talk to me -- and he said he will call me when he's ready! Any advice?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
When a guy thinks you're controlling his life, it means you truly are suffocating him by expecting him to have no life other than you, or he's a guy who wants what he wants, and you're just going to have to accept it, or else. Now, because I don't know you, I can't say which one it is, but I'll deal with both issues. First, he is entitled to be with his male friends, without you (as long as it doesn't mean picking up other women when he's at the pub), because some independence in a relationship is healthy. Now if it's with female friends, you should expect to be included, or at least asked to come along. BUT if he's the kind of guy who thinks of you are an appendage to him, and he only considers you when his friends aren't available (or wants sex) I'd tell him to take a hike, because you deserve better and you'll go after it, thank you very much. So I say to you, my dear, which one is it? Case number one, or number two? Once you have decided, act accordingly. But don't chase him down. Let him come to you. Only then can you really know if he cares enough to work this out to save this relationship. Good communication is the key to understanding.
Hey, I need some advice. Me n my bf aren't getting on. He says I control him and I don't like him going out with friends. We were arguing yesterday and my mum was abusive towards him and told him to get out of her house. Now I call him and he wont talk to me! And he says he doesn't know what he wants. What should I do? I really want to sort it with him, but he won't talk to me -- and he said he will call me when he's ready! Any advice?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
When a guy thinks you're controlling his life, it means you truly are suffocating him by expecting him to have no life other than you, or he's a guy who wants what he wants, and you're just going to have to accept it, or else. Now, because I don't know you, I can't say which one it is, but I'll deal with both issues. First, he is entitled to be with his male friends, without you (as long as it doesn't mean picking up other women when he's at the pub), because some independence in a relationship is healthy. Now if it's with female friends, you should expect to be included, or at least asked to come along. BUT if he's the kind of guy who thinks of you are an appendage to him, and he only considers you when his friends aren't available (or wants sex) I'd tell him to take a hike, because you deserve better and you'll go after it, thank you very much. So I say to you, my dear, which one is it? Case number one, or number two? Once you have decided, act accordingly. But don't chase him down. Let him come to you. Only then can you really know if he cares enough to work this out to save this relationship. Good communication is the key to understanding.
