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Tell Him How She Feels?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/14/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily,
I met this guy about a year ago, who thought he'd have no hope of ever meeting the right girl because of his past relationships. I was being a friend to him and reassuring him that there was someone out there for him. He took my advice and is now dating this girl. Over the time of being his friend, I fell in love with him. I know he cares about me more then a friend, but he's not in love with me. What should I do? Is it best to tell him I love him while he has a girlfriend, or wait, maybe never having the chance to tell him? I've gone to my friends for help and they think I should tell him -- but i don't know. I want to tell him, it's just really hard.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
I've often suggested to advice seekers that they should tell someone how they feel -- if the person being told is free to act -- and he isn't, right now. I think it would be unfair to put him in an awkward position. You mentioned that he cares about you more than a friend, but he's not in love with you. I assume you base that premise on the fact he's taken no action? It's hard to know, for sure, how he really feels because you told him he will find someone, someday. Men usually take what a woman says literally (big mistake on their part), and he believed you were acting as friend and counsel, and not a hopeful lover. I would see how his new relationship plays out before making a move. At some point you'll know if it's the right time to tell him how you feel. If he doesn't act on it, then it will probably alter your friendship with him. But it's altered already because of your feelings for him and, unless they change, you'll have to do something about it -- or continue to suffer in silence.
I met this guy about a year ago, who thought he'd have no hope of ever meeting the right girl because of his past relationships. I was being a friend to him and reassuring him that there was someone out there for him. He took my advice and is now dating this girl. Over the time of being his friend, I fell in love with him. I know he cares about me more then a friend, but he's not in love with me. What should I do? Is it best to tell him I love him while he has a girlfriend, or wait, maybe never having the chance to tell him? I've gone to my friends for help and they think I should tell him -- but i don't know. I want to tell him, it's just really hard.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
I've often suggested to advice seekers that they should tell someone how they feel -- if the person being told is free to act -- and he isn't, right now. I think it would be unfair to put him in an awkward position. You mentioned that he cares about you more than a friend, but he's not in love with you. I assume you base that premise on the fact he's taken no action? It's hard to know, for sure, how he really feels because you told him he will find someone, someday. Men usually take what a woman says literally (big mistake on their part), and he believed you were acting as friend and counsel, and not a hopeful lover. I would see how his new relationship plays out before making a move. At some point you'll know if it's the right time to tell him how you feel. If he doesn't act on it, then it will probably alter your friendship with him. But it's altered already because of your feelings for him and, unless they change, you'll have to do something about it -- or continue to suffer in silence.
