NEED HELP, AND ADVICE FROM OTHERS.
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Hello, and welcome to AskMissEmily.com. My name is Emily, and it is my passion to help people of all ages. I am known for giving sound advice, and I designed this site for anyone who needs objective help and guidance.
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As of January 2012, I have written over 13,000 letters of advice!
Latest Questions & Answers
What's He After?
- Published Yesterday
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
OK, so I started talking to this guy I've known for 11 years. He went to a college graduation with me and was great. Nut then he started kissing me and biting my neck. He is willing to try and spend time with me, anytime, and even hanging out with me and my family. My question is, does he like me or is he just trying to get laid?
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
I'm not sure what you mean by he's "willing" to "try" and spend time with you and your family. Does he consider it a favor to you? Whatever the case, his intentions are for you to find out if you have an interest in him. He seemed rather aggressive at the graduation, unless he was on something and lost his mental filters. I am a little suspicious, like you, but you have to realize that you can be in control of your end of the relationship. If you want to take it slow in order to see if he's sincere, that's your right. If he's impatient, touchy feely to the point of annoyance, and can't wait to jump into bed, I think you'll be able to deduce what's he's all about.
Male Friend A Threat To Relationship?
- Published Yesterday
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend ,of 4 years, and I got into an argument today because he did not approve of me not telling him about a friend from school, (a guy,b of course). We bumped into him, today. I told him I had mentioned him before but I'm not sure what else he expects of me. Along with that, I have a feeling my friend may have some special feelings for me, even though he knows I'm in a relationship. He seemed to have acted a little weird when he saw me with my boyfriend. I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I would not want to loose him as a friend because of this. Wwhat to do?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
You have a two-pronged problem (or maybe three!). Your boyfriend's jealousy, and your friend's possible interest in you. But I'm not positive you can surmise that your friend likes you from the awkwardness you felt from him during this chance meeting -- unless he's given you other signs at school. Because he is your friend, and he's of the opposite sex, that, alone, might have made him feel a bit uneasy -- or he detected an uneasiness from you, and/ or your boyfriend. If this is an innocent friendship, maintain the status quo, and tell your boyfriend to get over it. Trust is something you take seriously. If your friend has shown an overt interest in you, you'd have to set him straight, and maybe ease off on the friendship. Any hurt feelings would be sad, but unavoidable. But if you have feelings for your friend, that puts a whole new wrinkle into this dilemma. Only you know if that wrinkle exists.
My boyfriend ,of 4 years, and I got into an argument today because he did not approve of me not telling him about a friend from school, (a guy,b of course). We bumped into him, today. I told him I had mentioned him before but I'm not sure what else he expects of me. Along with that, I have a feeling my friend may have some special feelings for me, even though he knows I'm in a relationship. He seemed to have acted a little weird when he saw me with my boyfriend. I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I would not want to loose him as a friend because of this. Wwhat to do?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
You have a two-pronged problem (or maybe three!). Your boyfriend's jealousy, and your friend's possible interest in you. But I'm not positive you can surmise that your friend likes you from the awkwardness you felt from him during this chance meeting -- unless he's given you other signs at school. Because he is your friend, and he's of the opposite sex, that, alone, might have made him feel a bit uneasy -- or he detected an uneasiness from you, and/ or your boyfriend. If this is an innocent friendship, maintain the status quo, and tell your boyfriend to get over it. Trust is something you take seriously. If your friend has shown an overt interest in you, you'd have to set him straight, and maybe ease off on the friendship. Any hurt feelings would be sad, but unavoidable. But if you have feelings for your friend, that puts a whole new wrinkle into this dilemma. Only you know if that wrinkle exists.
Girlfriend Kept on the Down-low
- Published 05/22/2012
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I've met my old boyfriend, and we started dating again. Everything went well. He told me that he does want to hide anything. He has a child with a woman who lives in another state. One thing I don't like is that when the mother and his child are around, he told me he won't call me up until they have left. One thing I'm not sure of is whether he loves me, or not. I'm not sure if I should end this relationship as it seems it will not take me anywhere. He also told me that the mother and his child will be with him during school holidays, and he wants us to agree that, during those times, we will not phone each other. Please advice me on what must I do.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
Even if he has no feelings for the mother of his child (and you're not really sure that he doesn't), he's allowing her to manipulate him if he's running scared and can't commit to you in an honest and open manner. I understand that he wants a relationship with his child, but having you as his girlfriend should not interrupt that relationship if he pursues visiting rights through the court system. It is time consuming, and cost money, but it's a way of making his life an open book, rather than keep you in the shadows. I'm not a big supporter of a redo in a relationship, but I would never say they absolutely cannot work a second time around. But in order for them to work, the new relationship chapter has to have past conflicts settled, and no huge wrinkles that prevent it from moving forward smoothly. I, personally, wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship as long as it was not in the open for everyone to see, and nor should you! Having her and his child stay with him may be cost effective, but it's not something that makes you feel confident; especially since these visits are ongoing. In fairness, he may fear the repercussions if he lets this woman know about you, but how long will that go on, and are his fears truly legitimate? These are the questions that need to be answered, and to your satisfaction.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
Even if he has no feelings for the mother of his child (and you're not really sure that he doesn't), he's allowing her to manipulate him if he's running scared and can't commit to you in an honest and open manner. I understand that he wants a relationship with his child, but having you as his girlfriend should not interrupt that relationship if he pursues visiting rights through the court system. It is time consuming, and cost money, but it's a way of making his life an open book, rather than keep you in the shadows. I'm not a big supporter of a redo in a relationship, but I would never say they absolutely cannot work a second time around. But in order for them to work, the new relationship chapter has to have past conflicts settled, and no huge wrinkles that prevent it from moving forward smoothly. I, personally, wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship as long as it was not in the open for everyone to see, and nor should you! Having her and his child stay with him may be cost effective, but it's not something that makes you feel confident; especially since these visits are ongoing. In fairness, he may fear the repercussions if he lets this woman know about you, but how long will that go on, and are his fears truly legitimate? These are the questions that need to be answered, and to your satisfaction.
