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Latest Questions & Answers
icertified.net response to advice seeker "J"
- Published Today
- Parenting
"J"
You have had tremendous difficulty in dealing with family issues, and I think you need to seek counseling; as well as your daughter, and the one from his first marriage who is accusing him of molestation -- yet now denies it. Both girls are troubled, indeed. I cannot know, for sure, if your husband's daughter's accusations of him molesting her are true, or not. There is so much dysfunction in these families, based on the previous letters you've sent to me, I can't discount that there may be some truth to what both these girls have said. Sexual child abuse is a serious matter, and it does happen in families. Your husband, and your daugther with him have not gotten along for quite some time. Her hostility toward him is consistent. He has also made comments about having sleazy women come on to him, sexually, and he's frequently said that in front of her. Yes, she may have lied to you about what her stepsister told her but, again, that is an unknown. I think you need to talk to a professional in order to find some answers as to what's going on with your husband, your daughter, and how best to handle it. I am not saying he's guilty of what his other daughter accuses him of doing, but it warrants finding out -- if possible.
You have had tremendous difficulty in dealing with family issues, and I think you need to seek counseling; as well as your daughter, and the one from his first marriage who is accusing him of molestation -- yet now denies it. Both girls are troubled, indeed. I cannot know, for sure, if your husband's daughter's accusations of him molesting her are true, or not. There is so much dysfunction in these families, based on the previous letters you've sent to me, I can't discount that there may be some truth to what both these girls have said. Sexual child abuse is a serious matter, and it does happen in families. Your husband, and your daugther with him have not gotten along for quite some time. Her hostility toward him is consistent. He has also made comments about having sleazy women come on to him, sexually, and he's frequently said that in front of her. Yes, she may have lied to you about what her stepsister told her but, again, that is an unknown. I think you need to talk to a professional in order to find some answers as to what's going on with your husband, your daughter, and how best to handle it. I am not saying he's guilty of what his other daughter accuses him of doing, but it warrants finding out -- if possible.
Is The Love Gone?
- Published Today
- Relationships - Women
I have been in a relationship with a guy for over 3 years now, and we are currently in a rough patch. He says he still loves me but doesn't feel intimate feelings any more, and he doesn't know why. If I kiss him, his eyes are open watching tv. Or, I say I love you, and he says it back really fast. But he says it hurts him to see me hurt. It's been going on for two months now. I love him so much, and I'm scared to death of losing him. Any ideas to bring back the spark?
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
It's he who feels this way, not you, and I am sure you're doing all you can to keep the spark ignited. I won't lie to you, this isn't a good sign. Assuming you have good hygiene, and your breath is always fresh, he no longer seems engaged in this relationship, and it's insulting to you for him to carry on in this manner. To kiss you with his eyes open while watching T.V., and to spit out the words "I love you" as if he were speaking another language is all you need to know. I know you see this as rejection and, in a sense, it is -- but it may have everything to do with who he is, and he might have had this problem consistently in relationships. Whatever the reason, I don't think this one is right for you, and you're going to have your feelings hurt, big time, if you stay in it.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
It's he who feels this way, not you, and I am sure you're doing all you can to keep the spark ignited. I won't lie to you, this isn't a good sign. Assuming you have good hygiene, and your breath is always fresh, he no longer seems engaged in this relationship, and it's insulting to you for him to carry on in this manner. To kiss you with his eyes open while watching T.V., and to spit out the words "I love you" as if he were speaking another language is all you need to know. I know you see this as rejection and, in a sense, it is -- but it may have everything to do with who he is, and he might have had this problem consistently in relationships. Whatever the reason, I don't think this one is right for you, and you're going to have your feelings hurt, big time, if you stay in it.
Crush Goes Haywire
- Published 01/25/2012
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
I have a question and this is the problem: I had a crush on this guy, and once I told him, he told me he didn't feel the same. I accepted, but once I sent a friend request to him on a social website. He didn't accept it, and thought I was stalking him. He's broken my heart a couple of times, as well. My question? What did I do wrong? How come he's avoiding me so much?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
Your crush, I think, thought it was the end of the relationship when he told you he wasn't interested in you. Being an overly sensitive guy, he took the friend request as you not getting the message. But that's his take on it, and stalking is hardly the word to use in this case -- if this is all there is to it! Now, all this said, you have to let it go. If he's broken your heart a couple of times, it's because you allowed it to happen knowing he had not expressed an interest in you. He's not responsible for your feelings if he never led you on. He, obviously, doesn't want a friendship with you, and the mature and proper road to take is to leave him alone and move on with your life. If you don't let it go, it leads me to believe that he has some legitimate reasons to see you as needy, and desperate.
